stop.
listen.
breathe.
Those were the three things I was taught to do whenever I’m stressed out. It’s amazing how 3 simple things can help me in so many ways. I’ve almost forgotten the feeling how it is to be numb and free from worries.
So lately, I’ve learned to do that more frequently than usual, with the amount of pressure that I have to constantly go through now. I truly still believe with what I started off with:
That no one can change me.
That nothing will affect me.
That only I and I alone will affect myself the most.
I really don’t believe that listening to certain people can change someone completely as well, and that I agree with you, Chris. But it takes initiative and passion. For me, I believe it was the book ‘Kafka by the Shore’ from Haruki Murakami that changed my life and my perspective in certain parts of my life completely. It gives me the self-realization that I have always wanted in my life.
Searching for myself.
Get my point?
Hahaha, at some point, I feel like Takemoto from Honey & Clover. Actually, I was inspired by him when I first watched H&C and felt a little envious that he could travel that far to search for himself.
Isn’t it wonderful?
To be able to search for yourself, without anyone telling you how or when?
Your soul is your only partner in this journey. It learns along the way and guides you through the whole phase. And then, it gives you the answer.
And when you’ve finally found yourself, you feel somewhat answered. Somewhat relieved.
Somehow fulfilled, in a sense.
I recently read Mitch Alborn’s ‘The 5 people you meet in Heaven’, and once again, it’s one of those philosophical books that subliminally changes your life.
I truly believe that I grew up a little too fast at one point. And then, went back down once again. I was 8 reading teen and romance books, and I was 9 when I stopped and ventured into literature and crime books, and at 13, I found my love in books of self-realization and philosophical theories. I must admit, Coelho’s The Alchemist and Amy Tan’s Joy Luck Club has completely influenced me over the past few years. Hahaha, some people say that the style of my writing or rather expressing a lifeless thing or action seems rather poetic like Amy’s work. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just too used to reading her books and I enjoyed the way she describes things. It’s as if the things had life of its own, too.
Sitting here, staring at the screen, I actually would like to be outside now, staring at the stars, since there’s a full moon tonight. And be driven to draw something creatively, something abstract, something from the soul. The murmurs of the Earth’s spirit sings to me in the most softest yet convincing voice.
I’ve taken LW’s advice and let something that I like drive me to release my inner self. So, LW told us to think about it and draw our Batik designs (This was on Monday). I was very much inspired by Olivia, so I revved her up (a little pain on my playlist) and let my soul do the drawing. And after the raaather long five minutes was up, I turned back and looked at my design and I went like,
“Whoa! Is this really my design?”
I don’t know. I liked it. It was somewhat weird yet it feels aesthetic to me, in a sense. I listened to each OLIVIA song that night and turned it into a batik design. Surprisingly, I never knew I was that kind of artist. It made me feel so abstract-esque.
Made me feel that my soul was finally communicating with me through my art.
Get my drift, somehow?
I know it’s a bit Pablo Picasso-ish and a bit of Edvard Munch’s, but heck:
Why the heck do you need to draw perfect proportions and perfect looking things but it has no soul embedded in it?
I honestly thank LW for giving me the opportunity to realize what my aesthetic artistic soul truly was and what it wanted to say. Even though you’re an evil lecturer, but hahaha, I owe you one for unleashing the mystic within.
And now, I am more inspired to hear more songs (Which I feel musically inspired) and turn them into designs from what I feel from the song.
I don’t know.
It must be the subliminal murmurs that the soul hears and feels.
the purest cruelty 